A Token for Your Thoughts

A few weeks ago, Spencer asked if I wanted him to brush my hair. Umm. Sure. He got out a comb, a round brush, a regular brush and a big flat-backed brush. He did not grab the big rock which he has used in the past to "brush" my hair. When he finished with my hair, he asked if I'd like a back rub OR a massage. Please note that he intended this as an either/or question. This puzzled me as I didn't know there were important distinctions between the two. It turns out, according to Spencer, that a back rub is quick, light rubbing of the back, lasting for about 30 seconds. A massage consists of hitting or kicking the back. The massage was (surprisingly?) more relaxing than the back rub. When Spencer finished he asked me if that was worth one or two tokens. What? Tokens? This was the first I'd heard of tokens and I honestly didn't know what he wanted. I doubted that he was looking for a subway token. We don't have a subway here. It also seemed unlikely that he was looking for me to give him a heartfelt "thank you" as a token of my appreciation. Maybe he wanted money? Hmm. So many questions spinning through my head and Spencer was looking to me for an answer to his question. I did not know what he meant by "token," nor did I know why he thought he was entitled to one (possibly two) for doing something he had done in the past for free. Also, it was unclear whether I should have had an opportunity, pre-hairbrushing/backrub/massage, knowing the cost, perhaps, to decline one or more. All of these questions were running through my head. In retrospect, I think it would have been very natural to have asked Spencer any one (or all) of these questions. Instead, I responded, simply, "two." Admittedly this was an error on my part. Possibly even foolish. Now both boys are regularing performing various tasks in order to earn tokens. Perhaps this sounds reasonable. But I find it, well, not reasonable. I do not like that their acts of kindness are tied to payment. It has thrown things out of balance. I tried bringing it around last night. Both boys claim I owe them each three tokens. What about dinner I asked. That's one token right there. How about a hug? Two tokens. Tucking into bed? Another token. They thought that was soooo funny. Laughing, they chided me, "That isn't how it works."